Let us have a forum for parents to find each other in the same neighbourhoods to organize paly dates for young Asperger children.
Parents/Adults Forum
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My son had and still to some
Submitted by Anonymous on Fri, 2006-10-27 16:56.
My son had and still to some degree has issues with balloons. He can't bear to see people handling them in case they pop. I can pretty much understand that issue as I don't particularly care for the sound of popping balloons myself. The button problem is a hard one though. I've even tried getting him to sew a button onto a shirt in the hopes that he might "conquer" his fear or disgust, but to no avail. He also can't stand the sights of pennies and won't touch them.
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possible solutions
Submitted by Graham Kendall on Fri, 2006-10-27 13:01.
I was six when for a christmas present my parents got my an inflateable boat. I don't remember how exactly I got over it but my dad took me down to the dock, with the raft allready inflated, and just took me for a row. Thats about it. He built the idea that we were going for a boat ride so it was fun and kept my head out of the idea we were going for a ride on an inflateable.
Over exposure does help sometimes. What I remember doing once was plugging my ears and umping into some balloons with a pin and just randomly popping them. Kind of helped as well.
As for the idea of a control issue? I don't know. I think if you promse him another balloon if he pops the one in his hands it might help.
Graham Kendall
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Irrational Fears Improved with age
Submitted by Anonymous on Sat, 2006-10-28 06:00.
Hi, My son had many fears when he was younger but seems to be doing better with them since he has gotten older. He also hated big inflated objects even if he saw them on t.v. At one time he saw a big Arthur (which he loved) on t.v. and started screaming and running out of the room. He even associated the music that the commercial had and as soon as he would hear the song he would panic. He now laughs at this but, also remembers it vivadly. He hated and still does not like to wear buttons. I tried many times to get him use to it but, I am only successful in making him wear them for a very short period of time, on very important occassions. He was also very afraid of the noise of a train and where I live the train passes several times a day. There were many areas that I could not go as he knew there was a chance that the train may pass. I continued talking to him and slowly and easily expose him to his fears. Going to a movie was awful as he wanted to go but, was afraid of the previews. Just getting him in the door of the building was difficult. Parents would look at me bringing in this child tha was crying I don't want to go. We made small steps each time. One time getting in the building. Another making it to the door of the movie theater. Next going in but not where you could see the screen. Once the previews were over he was much better. Next wearing ear plugs in his ears. My son has been medicated for his anxiety for 4 years and most of his earlier fears are now minimal. The best methods for my son is to do a lot of talking about his fears, validate them and slowly expose him to them. It takes a lot of time and patience but for him it seems to work. Now we are working towards taking a trip on an airplane. Wish me luck
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Opportunities for AS kids in Vancouver
Submitted by Anonymous on Sun, 2006-10-29 16:32.
My son is only 11 years old, but he would really like the chance to connect with other AS kids. We live in Burnaby, but we'd be willing to go anywhere that has bus access (we'd also be willing to host something in our apartment, like a board game club or video game club for AS and related kids, oh, say 10 to 15 years old roughly - flexible on the age range).
Erin Kenny
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Located in Southern Ontario
Submitted by Anonymous on Sun, 2006-10-29 10:59.
I wanted to respond to the parent who entered "My son is Twelve years old". We're located in Southern Ontario and by the sounds of it, haven't been as fortunate as you have in locating local resources for our son. Is your son involved in any peer groups? If so, perhaps they have a local chapter in our area. I'm so frustrated at this point and have run out of options. Josh is actually my step-son and last year he decided on his own that he would like to relocate from Peel Region to come live with his father and I permanently. We were thrilled that it actually became a reality. My husband, has some triats of AS as well and we thought what better environment for him to be in than with someone who can totally relate to his thought process. However, settling into the new school hasn't been that easy on him. His first day he encountered bullying and the entire first month it continued until we and the school staff finally got somewhat of a hold in it. He still feels isolated though and I am desparate to help him make connections, but there doesn't seem to be any groups in our area. I'd love some suggestions.
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hmmm
Submitted by Graham Kendall on Thu, 2006-10-26 23:40.
I dunno. I had a problem with another aspie kid who was near my age. We were in an integrated school program together and believe me, we did not get along. I think it was because of two things. A)He, to me, was very annoying in that he had to have a teachers aid and tried to tell everyone else what to do; and; B) Aspie kids all want to be the boss, so there is no doubt a leadership struggle.
Graham Kendall
Youth Moderator
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Finding play dates for our kids
Submitted by Anonymous on Fri, 2006-10-27 10:10.
I've heard it can go either way from moms and people who run camps/social groups for aspie kids. The reason I suggested the idea in the first place is that I heard although you can find a complete clash among other aspies, you can also finally find somebody who thinks just like you that you can make friends with. For kids like my son who can't make friends in school (and most playdates with neurotypical kids are unpleasant experiences...to say the least), I think the parents should look wider to find suitable candidates for future friends.
I still think that for little kids it is important to spend lots of time with neurotypicals, since that is the bulk of the society. On the other hand it would be nice to have less pressure to try to fit in all the time. I even think it is useful for the asperger kids to be on the receiving end of the "bossy" and "very annoying" behaviour issues you brought up. Because for some of them, this might give them an insight to how neurotypical kids could see them.
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you right but...
Submitted by Graham Kendall on Fri, 2006-10-27 13:12.
... as long as you continue to expose the children to kids without these problems. Its like criminals in a prison system (not suggesting aspies are criminals). Some criminals don't get better by being kept among other criminals. Its the reintegration back into society that helps them become more functional. Yes I think at the early stages of an aspie's life it is not a bad idea for them to socialize amongst themselves, however by the age of 14-15, they should be kept away from them for longer periods of time. If they start to be singled out again then yes bring them together but don't let them start to beilieve that their inappropriate behaviours are actually okay.
Take from this as you you will but thats just how it actually worked for me. I hope it helps.
Graham Kendall
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hey yeah you're right