I am the parent of a 7 year old girl with Asperger's. She is becoming aware that she is a little different than her class mates. We are struggling with when to/how to tell her about having Asperger's. Any advice would be appreciated. Thanks Bob Moore.

Same question

Hi Bob, We have a daughter with asperger's and she's almost six. Like your daughter, she's starting to be aware that she is different, and so are the kids in her classroom (SK). The autism specialist that come to her school will be doing a workshop to sensitise the children in her classes. They told us that they won't single her out to the kids...I don't think it would be appropriate just yet. We are meeting with them this coming monday, and that was exactly one of my questions for them; When is the right time to tell her. If you would like, I could let you know their professional advice? Brenda

Books that helped us

hello Bob, I am the mother of a 7 year old boy who was diagnosed with Asperger's when he was 6, but I knew he had some form of autism when he was 2. We are very fortunate to have a wonderful support system in his school, with a principal and a couple teachers who have experience with AS. They embrace him for his differences, and adore how he gets them to think outside the box as they say. Don't get me wrong, we have had our downs along the way, some very difficult and raw. We also have a 5 year old boy and I decided it would be best to let them both know as soon as possible and just make it part of our life. Not knowing how to do it, I asked our psychologist, Dr Rosina Schnurr, leading Canadian expert on AS, how to do it. She, along with the Autism specialist from the school board recommended a great book: This is Asperger Syndrome by Elisa Gagnon and Brenda Smith Myles. We also found out that Dr Schnurr had written a book as well called: Asperger's Huh? A Child's Perspective. Both were excellent and we read them as a family and discussed them afterwards. I didn't even need to tell my older son he was AS by the end of the book, he recognized himself. It was actually a relief for him to be able to read a book and see pictures of another child doing what he does, he felt less isolated. Both books are available online through Amazon.ca so you can get them even if you live in an isolated area. Check your local library as well, ours had them. Perhaps these may help you. best of luck, diane

Book that helps

I have found that when it came to helping my 8 yr step daugther to understand my 7 yr old son that a book named "Can I tell you about Aspergers Syndrome. A guide for friends and family" was a good book. My son also read it and seem to enjoy it. He said to me after reading it the boy is just like me and that made him feel better to know that there is other children that have a hard time like him. The local libraries in the Toronto area are a good place to get infomation on the ASD for adults but not many for the children.


She's 13 and sometimes its hard to understand but things have a chance of getting worse before they get better. Just keep a positive outlook and things will and should be fine. Don't be aggressive when approaching her about her social problems but try to be as neutral with your voice as possible. The last thing you want is that defence to come shooting out of nowhere and hurting you in the process. Remind her that you're trying to help, not trying to make life more complicated for her. Graham Kendall

Your daughter

The way you should tell her is a positive way, Like being different is good! I hated all the appointments, baliscally to point out somehting was wrong and I was stupid. But If I was told why eailire i don't think I would n't hate myself so much. Tell her that she is special but not alone. It's ok to be different and people just don't see through her eyes! It's ok. I have aspergers really badly, If you need to talk, I'm candace cochrane candace.cochrane@shaw.ca