The documentary just aired again on CBC Newsworld and I got to see it for the first time. I just wrote this up and submitted it to CBC before I realized that it was a repeat. Thought I'd come over here and post my thoughts here... I've added to what I posted at CBC. *** This documentary disturbed me. I work with several anti-social techno-geek men (I'm in IT) and I would be willing to bet money that some of these guys are undiagnosed Aspergers, based on what I saw on the doc. They are bullies, constantly behaving inappropriately and not taking any responsibility for what comes out of their mouths. They are VERY bright and technologically savvy, but socially retarded. They are Adam as adults. I have struggled a lot with trying to be compassionate, trying to make the situation better, then if not better, then tolerable, and it's intolerable. I am a compassionate woman and like the mom in the documentary, I try and reason with these guys, try and show infinite patience. I giggled when I saw what the expert said to Adam's classmates, because I *always* focus on what's right with a situation rather than what's wrong with it. I always set clear boundaries regarding what is acceptable in the way I will be treated. But with these guys, I'm thinking it's futile. Years of working there has made me realize how impossible it is to work in an environment like that. I think integrating people like this into the world is hard... for those of us who were blessed to be born 'normal' -- it's hard to be told to tolerate behaviour that would not be tolerated if it was displayed by 'normal' people. It's hard to be bullied, yelled at, physically and emotionally assaulted. And to be told this behaviour is a 'disability' rubs everyone the wrong way. It's just bad behaviour to so many of us. And then to hear those people complain of BEING bullied, when clearly they ARE the bully is hard, too. I do realize bullies often WERE bullied, but I see it like a vicious circle, and I have very little compassion for people who behave like that and want pity or understanding when they don't offer it to their own victims. When Adam complained in the movie of not having friends, then I saw how he treated the girl in the playground, I thought DUH, no wonder you have no friends. I wouldn't have any friends either if I acted like that. And you are smart enough to draw a line between A and B, you MUST see how your actions have consequences. You must! I don't know what the solution is at all. I feel terrible for those families who must live with this every day. I am currently looking for another job, and at least I have an escape. I'm still resentful that I have to leave, not these bullies. But I know the families don't have that luxury. The documentary was VERY upsetting.

Thanks Tom for your kind

Thanks Tom for your kind words and story. I will pass your message on to Adam. Marianne

Come again? I am supposed

Come again? I am supposed to work in a toxic workplace every day where people are rude and hostile to me... CONSTANTLY... regardless of how I treat them and regardless of the steps I take to make the situation better, and I'm the bad person here? Come on. Even the parents' patience wore thin in the movie, and they had to send Adam away for several days. No one should be expected to tolerate that every day and not have it effect them and make them want to scream or throttle someone. Interestingly, I live next door to a halfway house, and one developmentally delayed guy spends most days standing in front of the house, and when I get into my car, he often yells at me "You suck. I hate you" at me, not unlike the scene where Adam said that to the girl in the school yard. I couldn't help but wonder why the onus falls to the 'normal' person to just accept that abuse instead of to the abuser to stop the abuse. As someone who previously came out of a violent relationship, I have worked very hard to come to a place in my life where I set boundaries as to how I allow other people to treat me. It's NOT okay for people to behave like that.

how did you as a mom learn

how did you as a mom learn not to take it personally?i am asking as a mom. It seems like no one understands unless they have walked "the mile" in our shoes. I shake my head beacause some of the people who respond act like AS is a choice. Even though the whole proper physical and verbal response issues are similar to those in fetal alcohol sydrome as in AS , some people seem to think AS is a choice because there are no physical indicators. Physical meaning any deformities. They act like AS is made up. Well, by all means come for a weekend getaway to my house, i beg of you. Yet with fetal alcohol syndrome because there are physical attributes that may indicate the irrevocable diagnosis and further support of confirmation of diagnosis, FASD is accepted and recognized and funded. FASD is created through a complete disregard for others, in my opinion , whilst AS was not on my "sears and roebuck" order when i was preganant.So, how how how do you not take it personally. My son is my everything , both of my boys are. I just feel like it IS personal. It is discrimination.